Al Dente

To Sauce Or Not To Sauce: The Great Grilling Question

I was so thrilled to get a call the other day from the son of a dear friend. He wanted my advice on how to cook ribs. He's never eaten my barbecue, but he figures I might know a thing or three after living in Memphis, Tenn., for a few years.

There were some delicious lessons learned down South, especially when I took a seminar in judging competition Q. You know how people describe the ultimate rib as a falling-off-the-bone tender experience? That's not what you're going for during competition. The best barbecue ribs need a little tug, the meat has a firm (not chewy) texture.

The thing I find lacking in many rib preparations I've tried in restaurants outside the South is that the kitchen doesn't trim up the rib. The flap of flesh remains intact, so it adds to the cooking time, but not the overall enjoyment because that piece of meat is generally chewy. 

Depending on who's cooking, the ribs are mopped with a vinegar-y sauce throughout the low-and-slow process or they're basted in sauce at the end so they develop a nice char. I like 'em both ways, though usually prefer the sauce on the side. I love them cooked off the fire, but finished with a little sear.

Those were the instructions I gave to the aspiring pitmaster. I heard back from him a couple of days later and he said the ribs were great. Score!

So how do you roll with your rack of ribs? Sauce or no sauce while cooking? The ribs in the photo, by the way, were sauced and served at one of my favorite neighborhood restaurants in Seattle. Those Kansas City-style ribs are a summer feature at Crow.

-- Leslie Kelly

Wanna Start A Food Fight? Toss Some Eggs Into The Potato Salad

It started as a random Tweet. I wondered -- in 140 characters -- whether potato salad should include eggs or not. Wow. I never dreamed people felt so strongly on this savory subject.

No, no, no eggs! Ewww, wrote quite a few. Then, in the other camp: Yes, of course. The more eggs, the better. In fact, let's have some deviled eggs on the side.

This quandary started about a year ago, when my sister finally shared her potato salad recipe with me. We catered my daughter's high school graduation barbecue, making pulled pork sandwiches, baked beans, slaw and potato salad. I had always gone egg-free when mixing potato salad. I liked the pucker power of a vinaigrette or the salty kick of a German potato salad. But this creamy version reminded me of a nearly-forgotten family favorite made by my great aunt Margaret, one that was heavy on the mayo and chopped eggs. Sissy juiced up the original recipe by sloshing in a generous splash of dill pickle juice. You know what that means? It's even better the next day.

It also means the combination of flavors and textures downplays what people don't like about hard-cooked eggs: the rubbery quality of the whites and the chalkiness of the yolks. It's ingredients working in harmony to create that symphony of yumminess.

Now, I know it's still a few weeks away from the unofficial beginning of picnic season, at least in most parts of the country, but I thought I would get an early start by sharing Sissy's Not-So-Secret Potato Salad recipe. You know what makes it a snap to put together? My handy-dandy egg slicer! Unless, of course, you're in that camp that thinks eggs stink.

Sissy's Potato Salad

Ingredients

2 pounds Yukon gold potatoes, cooked until just barely done, cooled and chopped, peeling is optional
1 sweet onion, chopped
1 cup dill pickles, chopped
3-4 hard-cooked eggs, chopped
2/3 cup mayonnaise
1/4 cup Dijon mustard
1/4 cup or more dill pickle brine
salt and pepper to taste

Instructions

Combine potatoes, onions, pickles and eggs. Gently mix in the mustard and mayo. Add the pickle juice and season to taste. It's better the next day. Just before serving, stir and taste again. Adjust seasonings if needed.

Serves 6.

-- Leslie Kelly

Families, Seattle Citizens Beware: Uptown Espresso Refuses Restroom to Paying Customers

Somebody check me on this: There's what's known as a bad business plan and then there's what they have going on at Uptown Espresso on Alaskan Way. They have what I think is an abominable, horrific, rude, short-sighted and dang near abusive business plan. Here's how it works: They sell customers an expensive diuretic and then refuse to let them use the restroom. Sound like a money maker?

Locals and visitors who enjoy Seattle's beautiful sculpture park and waterfront walkway need a fair warning: "Stopping In" at Uptown can "Stop You Up." Located beside artist Louise Bourgeois' fountain "Father and Son," the coffee shop has been a place I've enjoyed going with my boys after a day spent in the park. We buy treats for the boys and a much-needed latte for me and sit out at their sidewalk table to enjoy it all. But today they put an end to my business by refusing to allow me to use the restroom despite my status as a customer. The unbelievable exchange went like this:

Me: Hi! Can I get your restroom key?
Barista: I'm sorry, we don't have a restroom.
Me:...I'm sorry, you don't... ...you don't HAVE a restroom?
Barista: No. We don't.
Me (pointing at restroom door): But I've used the restroom here. It's right there.
Barista: Oh, well, see, we just don't allow people to use it.
Me (sounding admittedly slow-witted): You....just don't allow people to use the restroom?
Barista: See, we just have too many people stopping in just to use the bathroom.
Me: Oh, but no, I'm a paying customer!
Barista: Sorry.
Me: What?
Barista (pointing): I'm sorry. There's a bathroom up at the top of the sculpture garden about a block away, up there...
Me: What? You don't let paying customers use the bathroom in here?
Barista: We just can't do that anymore, there's too many people just stopping in to use the bathroom.
Me: But...I'm not...nevermind. Come on boys, I will never spend another dime here.

One customer followed me and my boys out, confused as I was, asking me where she might find the bathroom the barista pointed to. I pointed up the hill, then began the tedious, time-consuming task of reloading babies in jackets, strapping Bjorns, loading pack and stroller when another customer from the line came out and called to me from the open door, in ear shot of everyone: "Hi Miss! If you can wait just half a minute I'll take you upstairs where I have a bathroom." Good citizen though she was, I had already reloaded everyone and couldn't face unloading to climb stairs, find safe side-walk parking for the double stroller, etc. I thanked her and just beat it up the hill.

Some of you may wonder whether my children were the cause of our being refused. Let me put that theory to rest. Because cookies and muffins were at stake, they were angels. The placid baby was gurgling from the Bjorn, and the older ones flanked my sides, quietly kissing my hips every now and again just to keep me properly greased for treat buying. They never spoke a word.

Isn't that something? What would you have done if you were me? Do you even give a dang?

--Sweet B

The Wieners Circle

Usually listening to (or watching) This American Life leaves me with a warm and fuzzy feeling inside, pondering the different characters that make up our country, each one with a different story; that despite our differences, we all share common struggles; like I am a worthwhile humanoid that belongs to, and connects with, the larger humanoid tribe. Plus, I love the way Ira Glass's nerdy voice crackles across the radio waves. It's like he's telling me--just me--a riveting story in my living room.

Late night on Friday, I decided to watch the final episode of This American Life, Season One, (the Showtime version of the NPR show). The first act is about modern pig farming, and reminded me a lot of what I learned in Food, Inc. (except Food, Inc. features chickens instead of pigs). The second act, called "In Wiener Veritas," chronicles late night diners at the Chicago hot dog stand the Wieners Circle.

One of the camera crew members on the pig farming episode had to interrupt the shoot because what he observed of the pig farm operation literally made him vomit. He vowed never to eat meat again after finishing the job. Having been on several farms this year, I can't say any of it particularly grossed me out. I, however, was not at all prepared for the second act, "The Wiener's Circle." I am kind of speechless right now. And I can't stop thinking about what I just saw (hence the blog post). I don't want to sway your opinion, so I will withhold mine at the moment.

Watch this video and tell me what you think. I will warn you that it contains explicit language, is not appropriate for children under the age of 18, or for the workplace. 

Have any of you been to the Wieners Circle. Live near there? Would you/do you frequent the Wieners Circle? Why or why not?

--StellaCadente*

Follow me on Twitter

How to Make Kids Husky

Forget McDonald's and soda--oats are the reason for our country's obesity epidemic. The proof is right there in the copy. Not convinced? In 1987, Wilford Brimley was the spokesperson for Quaker Oats. Now he has "diabeetus". Coincidence? I think not.

Ad courtesy of the Vintage Ad Browser.

--Spanno

Food for Thought

I spent yesterday afternoon watching Food, Inc., a documentary about America's food supply. The film features interviews with Michael Pollan (The Omnivore's Dilemma) and Eric Schlosser (Fast Food Nation) as well as various farmers and food producers. While it didn't say anything I hadn't heard before in some capacity, hearing the farmers speak and seeing the visuals definitely helped emphasize the importance of its overarching message: eat organic, eat local, support your farmers, and take the time to find out where your food comes from.

Other than than our meat supply, the film touches on America's corn crop, and the issue of the Monsanto Company which produces genetically engineered seeds. Coincidentally, I came across this investigative piece by the AP that was released only a couple of days ago, questioning Monsanto's (a multi-national corporation) strong-arm tactics toward smaller seed companies. Here is an excerpt:

''We now believe that Monsanto has control over as much as 90 percent of (seed genetics). This level of control is almost unbelievable,'' said Neil Harl, agricultural economist at Iowa State University who has studied the seed industry for decades. ''The upshot of that is that it's tightening Monsanto's control, and makes it possible for them to increase their prices long term. And we've seen this happening the last five years, and the end is not in sight.''

Not only that, but to me it's frightening to think that one company could control the seed supply, and thus the crops, for the entire world.

If you have the time to spare, I definitely suggest you set aside a couple of hours to watch it. There are fewer decisions of more import than what we decide to put into our bodies. My mother has been grinding her own meat as long as I can remember with one of these doodads. Food, Inc. confirmed for me that making your own hamburger is worth the extra five minutes.

--StellaCadente*

Are You the Cucumber Bandit?

As reported recently on the 9 News site, “More than $10,000 worth of cucumbers have been stolen in 11 separate robberies in the past three months” in Adelaide, Australia. This is an outrage. Think of the deprivation occurring: no Chicago style hot dogs? No cucumber relish? No pickles down the road a bit? What kind of wicked criminal could devise such a dastardly vegetable demise? And will this mastermind hold those cukes hostage? Police are stymied, because, as Chief Kym Zander said, “The issue with the cucumber is, how do you and I tell who owns a different cucumber?” I call on any cucumber thieves reading this: turn yourselves in today.

But seriously, what could one do with $10,000 worth of cucumbers? Start a cucumber sandwich takeout business? I love cucumber salad, but don’t think I could eat it for months on end. Or am I missing something entirely that cucumbers are good for, some dish or invention that makes a giant cucumber heist worth it? Let me know, cucumber fanatics, and I promise not to turn you in to the cops.

--A.J. Rathbun

"Crunch Berries" Aren't Real Berries

Poor Cap'n Crunch. Not only does he have to avoid Somali pirates, he was recently sued over the questionable marketing of his famous crunch berries.Turns out crunch berries aren't real berries. Shocking, I know. A judge for the U.S. District Court for the Eastern District of California dismissed a lawsuit claiming that the Cap'n deceived the public about the true nature of crunch berries. The judge stated, "So far as this Court has been made aware, there is no such fruit growing in the wild or occurring naturally in any part of the world."

This whole mess could have been avoided if the Cap'n hadn't removed the "imitation berries" slogan from Crunch Berries boxes. Incidentally, the Cap'n looks more youthful lately--bigger smile and no bags under his eyes. Botox?

 

Read more about the lawsuit at Lowering the Bar.

--Spanno

Burger King Taps Sir Mix-a-Lot for a SpongeBob Promo

Sir Mix-a-Lot was probably very busy mixing--he does it a lot--but somehow ($$$) Burger King got him to do a parody of "Baby Got Back" for a SpongeBob Squarepants promotion. While it is extremely funny, I'm not sure it's entirely kid-friendly.

--Spanno

Billy Mays Hates Vince Offer

Better get your ShamWow and SlapChop soon. Billy Mays is mad as hell and he's out to end Vince Offer's career.

A couple years ago, perpetual pitchman Billy Mays hawked infomercial classics like the Zorbeez and the QuickChop. He's since moved on to bigger and better products like Oxyclean and the Big City Slider Station, but technically still sells the older products. In 2007, upstart pitchman and gross-out comedian Vince "You'll love my nuts" Offer essentially ripped off Billy Mays' Zorbeez, using infomercials to sell what he called the ShamWow--peddling millions of the orange and purple towels. In late 2008, Vince moved on to a QuickChop knockoff called the SlapChop. That infomercial has become somewhat of a internet hit. Here it is.

How did Billy Mays take all this? Not very well. On February 10, 2009, Billy Mays went on the Adam Carolla show to air his grievances (listen here). In addition to calling the SlapChop a "crapchop", Billy warned Vince, "I'm coming after you".

The two had shared a suite at the 2009 Superbowl--hosted by the owners of a mutual call center. The meeting nearly came to fisticuffs. Vince later apologized, but Billy refused to accept. During the Carolla interview he challenged Vince to a "pitch off".

Here's how I imagine it would go...

Billy: Hi! Billy Mays here with an amazing deal for your face!
Vince: Yo, it's Vince. You'll love my fist.
Billy: Try it and I'll double the offer! That's two black eyes for the price of one!
Vince:  I'll slap the beard off your face, old man.
Billy: If you act now, I'll throw in a free boot!
Vince:You'll be saying "ow" everytime you try to eat.

And it just goes on like that for a good twenty minutes.

--Spanno