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Why Go Out?

sirioWhy go out to eat? That is, why *do we* go out to eat? I have been mulling this over all week, and it seems like I am in synch with the Universe. I stumbled upon this NYT article yesterday posing the same question, albeit in a more academic fashion. Then last night, my brother, Antanas, fired up this documentary about Sirio Maccioni and family, which pokes at the same conundrum from behind the scenes at the famed eatery, Le Cirque. 

Looking back, I used to go out primarily for entertainment value. I enjoyed being in a fancy space, developing a rapport with the wait staff, people watching, and dressing up for the occasion.  As of late, however, I prefer gritty to glamorous. Give me a taco cart. Give me a hole-in-the wall with low-budget decor, as long as the food is good. Bruce Buschel astutely observes in his article

"The French Laundry makes sense because everything is fussily, through-the-roof extraordinary. The coffee shop down the block makes equal sense because the food stinks (in a deep fried way), the service stinks (in a friendly way), the ambiance stinks (in a comical way), and everyone loves it. It all adds up."

I guess that places me in the good food, stinky ambiance camp. Don't get me wrong, I still enjoy a decadent experience now and again. I more than enjoyed being fawned over during a phenomenal five-course meal at Piccolo Venice the other night. But, if I had to rank ambiance, price, food, and service in order of current importance to me, I'd say: food, price, service, ambiance. Umami, well, that's a gift from the gods.

What's most important to you when dining out? I'd love to hear.

--StellaCadente*

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Price and food are both very important, and I won't return to a place with rude or incompetent service. But as I get older, I find that it's become more and more important to me to have a quiet, relaxing atmosphere.

Too many restaurant owners think that noise = fun, and they actively try to keep the noise level over 90 db. I hate big chain restaurants with concrete walls and floors that have conversations bouncing and echoing off them until they turn into a cacophonous din. I have gotten up with my wife and left restaurants before ordering because the noise was too oppressive. And just for the record, some music enhances the meal (Frank & Dino at an Italian place, etc.), and some music ruins it (I don't want to have to shout to my dining companions to be heard over the latest blaring hip hop hit). The nadir had to be when I took my wife to a little bar/restaurant in Dallas for an after theater drink, and we were seated beneath a speaker that was blaring some rap song that sounded like a Tourette's patient giving X-rated how-to instructions to an apprentice rapist.

I like going out for the opportunity to enjoy food that's different than what I can cook at home. I do enjoy cooking at home, but I often get ideas from good restaurants - both recipes I want to try and presentation ideas.

I live in a rural area and it's difficult to get ingredients (spur of the moment, anyway) to make some of the more "exotic" dishes my family loves. Good Thai and Sushi in particular are almost impossible to find within a 45 minute drive - and spending at least 1.5 hours in the car to get to a restaurant I want to try means that it better be special! ;-)

I can deal with average service in an average restaurant, but poor service - no matter the "quality" of a restaurant - is inexcusable. After all, restaurants are part of the hospitality sector, and therefore good service is critical, IMHO.

Loud vs quiet? Well, not TOO loud (the Roy's restaurant franchise, for instance, has a fairly boisterous atmosphere, but acceptable to me), and not with loudloud music; I do like to be able to hear the conversation at my table. On the other hand, a very hushed atmosphere is also somewhat off-putting because it's a little too solemn and formal for my tastes. YMMV.

But I do love to dine out, particularly when on vacation! "Oh, look, honey! If we do this and this in the morning, we can eat HERE for lunch. Then we can go see that in the afternoon and be right next to this restaurant for dinner!" Yep. I plan my vacations around where we'll eat next ;-)

Good food at a reasonable price.

I know how much food costs. So if I feel like I'm getting my money's worth, I'll be back often. When you're charging me 10$+ for a HAM SANDWICH, your business just makes me mad.

I'm calling you out "Jersey Subs"

After living in Thailand I moved to Texas. Desperate to find good Thai food I went to all the fancy Thai restaurants but none of them were any good. Then my wife reminded me of what we called our favorite restaurant in Bangkok "The hole in the wall." We called it that because it was dark and dingy looking from the outside and spartan on the insides but the food was marvelous. Applying that criteria we started checking out all of the trip mall Thai places and bingo, we found one. Mama-san (yes, I know that's Japanese) cooking in the back Dad running the cash register and the sullen kids as the wait staff. Great Tom Kha Gai.

We’ve been married for 36 years and just about every Friday night we’ve gone somewhere on a date night. Cheap joints when times were lean, better ones when we have a few bucks. Now we go to the same Italian restaurant because we like it and they serve good seafood. My wife hates all seafood except lobster and I grew up a “fish head” in Northwest Florida and would eat fish 5 out of 7 days. It’s a compromise, I get my weekly fix of fish and she has..whatever.

We save up little tidbits that’s happened during the week and share them on our date night. We normally take an hour for drinks or wine then order. All in all we spend between two and three hours. We have the same server every time, I tip generously and he generally leaves us alone.

Nice blog, I’ll be back.

Food, for sure. And value. Unlike Erik, I have no problem paying $10+ for a ham sandwich. Ham, after all, has a wider range of price and excellence than almost any other food product. For $10+, I had better get ham in that sandwich that reflects the price.

A $10 lunch can make one feel ripped off, and a $30 lunch can make one feel as though one has gotten a bargain.

There may be such a thing as a $250 dinner that would make me feel I'd gotten my money's worth, but I haven't had it yet (yes, including French Laundry).

"Why go out to eat?"

1. For a wonderful dining experience encompassing all the pleasures you describe.

2. Because making food at home and cleaning up afterwards are time consuming irritants we prefer to avoid.

The market for the second reason dwarfs the market for the first.

This may not be the answer you are looking for but;
I go out for the company. It is about who I am dining with more than anything else combined. Those precious hours with family and friends make the meal worth whatever penny I pay (or whatever indigestion I suffer).

Food is #1. Price as to in the proper 'range' with the food and experience. Atmosphere? Different people like different things. I like quiet.

I can honestly say some of the BEST food I've ever had was home cooked, but by a family friend who's home cooking has actually been reviewed by a major newspaper and called "The best French cooking in the XXX area" (and it's a major metro area). What could be better? Great food, Friends, and the BEST atmosphere

1) Convenience
2) Sampling foods that I can't equal (or are too labor-intensive) at home
3) To provide a wider choice of food options for a group

That's it. The whole socializing aspect can be accomplished at home.

I'm a "hole in the wall" guy.

Street vendors in Tijuana selling tres carne tacos por a $1.00. Montezuma's revenge, yes, but oh so good tacos.

A seafood market in Long Beach CA where today I still get 3 fish tacos for $5.00. The ambiance can't be beat, just eat quick before the birds steal your food.

Hole in the walls are risky, and I do like chains. But it's exciting to find a dive that's truly a culinary experience.

Sometimes it's a progression for me.

See it on the Food network or in a cookbook
Order it in a restaurant
Learn to make it myself

Good points all. Thanks for sharing. Kat:I totally understand planning your vacations around food. I was in Croatia a couple of summers ago, and I thought it was so beautiful, but the food was so "blah" (especially having come straight from a week in Italy). ErikZ: Bryan is right...not all ham sandwiches are created equal...depends on the ham, bread, condiments, etc. I haven't had a Jersey Sub...but I am guessing I shouldn't bother? RetiredE9: Love the idea of your date night. Pat: I can really sympathize with you. My mom has a hearing aide which amplifies all background noise. It's definitely something that restaurants should think about. Michael Crosby: Which seafood market are you speaking of? I am pretty close to the LBC.

P.S. Thanks for reading and commenting, all. I love hearing from you.

I think I will vote for home. We have a Sunday tradition...that the kids and grandkids come here for Sunday supper. For example, yesterday I made a seafood gumbo over rice. It took almost four hours in the kitchen to make that silky, perfectly spiced sauce that received 3 lbs. of shrimp and 1 lb. of scallops and a bit of fresh parsley right at the end. There were nine of us and we ate just over a gallon of the soup!

Keep your poached sea bass and your reduction sauces. I'll take the Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives any time.

Suzanne, I love the idea of big Sunday dinners at home. Great way to bring the family together, and it's something that the kids will always remember.


Thanks for posting! I really enjoyed the report. I've already bookmark this article.

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