"Crunch Berries" Aren't Real Berries
Poor Cap'n Crunch. Not only does he have to avoid Somali pirates, he was recently sued over the questionable marketing of his famous crunch berries.Turns out crunch berries aren't real berries. Shocking, I know. A judge for the U.S. District Court for the Eastern District of California dismissed a lawsuit claiming that the Cap'n deceived the public about the true nature of crunch berries. The judge stated, "So far as this Court has been made aware, there is no such fruit growing in the wild or occurring naturally in any part of the world."
This whole mess could have been avoided if the Cap'n hadn't removed the "imitation berries" slogan from Crunch Berries boxes. Incidentally, the Cap'n looks more youthful lately--bigger smile and no bags under his eyes. Botox?
Read more about the lawsuit at Lowering the Bar.
--Spanno
Brian on June 05, 2009 at 09:56 AM
LOL! Best quote on the Lowering the Bar site:
"She sued, on behalf of herself and all similarly situated consumers who also apparently believed that there are fields somewhere in our land thronged by crunchberry bushes."
Corey on June 05, 2009 at 01:23 PM
This is one of the worst lawsuit cases I've ever heard. I suppose though maybe when Crunch Berries first went onto market there could be some confusion (from those who are naturally/easily confused by marketing) but this is ridiculous.
Blogdog on June 05, 2009 at 04:19 PM
I can only imagine her disappointment when she found out the same about "dingleberries."
I'd prefer not think about 'how' though....
Mike Puckett on June 05, 2009 at 04:45 PM
Let me guess, the Attty who sued was one Lionel J. Hutz!?!
ElMondo on June 05, 2009 at 04:54 PM
Best line from loweringthebar.net:
"He found that their attack on "Crunchberries" should fare no better than their prior claims that "Froot Loops" did not contain real froot."
GM Roper on June 05, 2009 at 05:00 PM
I haven't laughed so hard at a post in a long time... let alone at the comments. Thanks for a very much needed Friday evening laugh.
Patrick on June 05, 2009 at 05:03 PM
@Mike
I'm sure he's still trying to replicate the success of his case against the producers of "The Neverending Story"
Mike Puckett on June 05, 2009 at 05:19 PM
@Patrick
I wonder if he made a motion for for a 'bad court thingy'?
Glad I am not the only Simpons junky in the world.
*sigh* Ain't the same without Phil Hartman *sigh*
Pat Patterson on June 05, 2009 at 05:48 PM
First PETA sues because not all the cows in California talk, then this and eventually suing the estate of Lewis Carroll because Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum are not real!
JEM on June 05, 2009 at 05:50 PM
Next up, she's going to sue the maker of Dingleberries.
Erich on June 05, 2009 at 06:06 PM
If I were the lawyer for Grape Nuts, I'd start prepping my defense today.
arminius on June 05, 2009 at 06:20 PM
Research in Motion, Limited, please call your office. There's some attorney here looking for you.
Lionel Hutz on June 05, 2009 at 07:40 PM
This is the most blatant case of fraudulent advertising since my suit against the film the Neverending Story.
Buzz on June 05, 2009 at 08:50 PM
Yeah, but what's up with the eyebrows on his hat!?
kjackman on June 05, 2009 at 09:00 PM
The "new" Cap'n looks like he's stoked on PCP. Guess that's what it takes to stand out in the crowded supermarket shelves these days.
Junior on June 06, 2009 at 04:08 AM
Damn, and I wanted to sue my parents about Santa Claus when I got older.
keith on June 06, 2009 at 05:49 AM
When I was a little kid i had a dream the Crunch Berry Beast was comin' to get me.
lord lex on June 06, 2009 at 07:28 AM
We had a flood that wiped out the crunch berry crops all the way down to Snootsville. The old Mississip looked like a technicolor yawn for days. The berries never sank and now St Louis looks like it has the measels.
Patrick Carroll on June 06, 2009 at 09:28 AM
Makes me want to gather some grits from my grits bush.
Peggy Jo on June 07, 2009 at 04:11 PM
What a moron!!! CRUNCH BERRY a real fruit, eh? I think she's the real fruit! Did she not read the BOX and LABEL --d'oh!