Five Foods That I Wish Were April Fools Jokes
In order to spare you any lame attempt at an April Fools joke, I present to you five foods that I wish were April Fools jokes.
1. Sandwich Cake
Sandwich cakes are a sickening mix of cream cheese, mayo, veggies, meat, and bread in the form of a cake. They're perfect for picnics, hikes, trips to the beach, and kid's lunches. Wait, sorry, that's regular sandwiches. Sandwich cakes are perfect for time travelers who enjoy Sunday brunch in the 1950's.
2. Bubble Gum Cocktail Wienies
With the ringing endorsement, "Kids love them!", who could resist? Sadly, Archie McPhee totally dropped the ball because they're not hot dog flavored. Bubble gum?! Gross.
3. Scrapple
How do you avoid wasting all those wonderful pig parts that are usually inedible? You make scrapple. The super-lame joke is that it has everything except the oink. Plus, it's got "crap" in the name.
4. Baby Mice Wine
That's right, it's wine with baby mice at the bottom. It's a drink and an appetizer in one. The South Koreans claim it has health benefits but the only thing it cured was my hunger. And you thought the Mexicans were crazy for putting worms in tequila.
5. Bacon Soda
Launched in 2004, Bacon Soda was a huge hit in Vermont where the sugar-loving Canadian groupies would drop in shots of maple syrup. Sadly, it fizzled out everywhere else.
--Spanno
SDN on April 03, 2009 at 06:33 AM
A group of my fellow sci-fi fans and I walked into a new Vietnamese restaurant in Atlanta several years ago. It was obviously authentic, since the menu was in Vietnamese with English(?) translations. The first item on the menu was BBQ Cow Uteri.
The group of fans (who eat anything from plomeek soup to Klingon g'akh) looked at the menu, looked at each other, looked back at the menu, turned around, and left.... briskly.
I thought no one would top BBQ Cow Uteri; 'precious 3-penis soup' has managed... I'm going to say goodbye to breakfast now...
John C on April 03, 2009 at 07:46 AM
Scrapple!!!!! A Pa Dutch Classic
I'd put anything with beets on the list before scrapple.
on April 03, 2009 at 11:42 AM
Uhm. Take a look at the "Mice Wine" bottle. It's label is in Chinese. It is not a Korean beverage nor have I ever heard about Koreans raving about its health benefits. Get your sources checked before you write something that sends the wrong message about a culture you don't even understand. Thanks.
Chelle on April 05, 2009 at 09:01 AM
That baby mice wine makes me sick to my stomach just looking at the picture...ewww...bacon soda doesn't sound too thirst quenching either! And i even actually like bacon!
buy wow gold on April 07, 2009 at 12:37 AM
Waah gross, gross, gross! But I might give Baby Mice Wine a try and puke all day and kiss my worst enemy in our town. What'd you think? ;D
horsseseseseses.com on April 01, 2010 at 04:16 PM
nice i am going to do the sandwich cake thanx