Five Vintage Hot Dog Horrors
Hot dogs are inherently simple to prepare. Heat them up, put them on a bun, top 'em, and chow down. Not much to it. Unfortunately that wasn't good enough for "culinary experts" in the 50's, 60's, and 70's. During this dark period of cooking, publishers often included the most grotesque recipes and photos in their cookbooks. You can see some great examples on flickr.
A favorite food to abuse was the lowly hot dog. The people who created the following Frankfurter Frankensteins were completely out of their minds. Nowadays, someone might come up with a similar recipe to be ironic or funny. Back then, it was because of leaded gasoline fumes.
1. Wiener Tiara Bake
According to the recipe, this is a "sensational way to serve frankfurters--picket-fencing in a mountain of nippy stuffing." According to me, this is a "sensational way to make me vomit on my keyboard." How the heck are you supposed to eat this thing? (photo courtesy of photobucket)
2. Broiler Bean-er Wiener
I can't decide whether or not this is the work of a genius. Don't get me wrong--it's horrific--but I admire the attempt to make a pseudo-sub out of baked beans, hot dogs, and pickles. (photo courtesy of flickr)
3. Frankfurter Spectacular
This recipe car definitely helped me lose weight. I haven't been hungry since I saw this picture. (photo courtesy of flickr)
4. Crown Roast of Frankfurters
I only wish I could lose weight by eating 15 hot dogs. (photo courtesy of flickr)
5. Bacon-Wrapped Hot Dog Sandwich
You might think I'd actually like this sandwich. On the contrary, I have two huge problems with it. One, they didn't wrap the bacon around the hot dogs. This seems like it would be the obvious thing to do. Wrapping the bacon around the sandwich is a novel approach but it makes the sandwich unstable to eat and difficult to cook. And two, it looks like an armadillo. (photo courtesy of flickr)
--Spanno
lisa k on March 25, 2009 at 07:45 AM
this is classic! I remember we usually broiled or pan-fryed hotdogs and when visiting a grandmother and she BOILED them (horror of horrors!) we were so disgusted my younger brothers and I refused to eat them! :)
DrGaellon on March 25, 2009 at 10:22 AM
Those are incredible, especially the "crown roast of hot dogs." Just unbelievable.
@Lisa: we ONLY boiled our franks - occasionally grilled in the summer, but never fried! :) To this day, I boil my franks (or microwave if I'm really in a hurry).
spiceguy on March 25, 2009 at 11:02 AM
I used to like hotdogs. But after seein' these pix, not so much now. You'll never see these recipes on my blog. :-)
Victoria on March 26, 2009 at 03:37 AM
You've left out one of the wurst (!)..the hamdog. You take a hot dog, completely encase it with raw hamburger meat, then surround that with raw bacon, and fry it up. My husband says it was a staple at his house.
jeff on March 26, 2009 at 06:12 AM
This is worthy of James Lileks....
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0609607820/qid=996953577/sr=2-1/lilekscom-20
Justin on March 26, 2009 at 06:51 AM
I'm from Chicago, and boiling hot dogs is the most common way of heating them at traditional hot dog stands. At request, to get a charred crust, hot dog stands cut them on the side to expose the insides, and throw it on a grill. But boiled is the way that most of them are probably eaten. There's nothing wrong with it, especially since they plump up so deliciously and "pop" when you bite into them, a combination of the thick natural casing and the water that seeped inside the salty hot dog from the boiling water. When I got an out-of-town package of Vienna beef hot dogs, they recommended boiling.
JC on March 26, 2009 at 01:54 PM
You got something against armadillos, huh? Com'nist.
Brenda Campbell on March 29, 2009 at 09:09 PM
I think my mother had those recipe cards; but, you are right, those dishes look horrific and it just made my day I was laughing so hard at the pictures. Great blog post.
Freddie on March 30, 2009 at 12:37 PM
These look wonderful, especialy the Bacon-Wrapped Hot Dog Sandwich. Very yummy. I must be old-school in my tastes.
Bryan Frymire on March 31, 2009 at 12:59 AM
Here's the thing - I love to eat teh hot dogs. But they give me horrible, foul-smelling gas. Know what I call that? Win-Win.
I found a rock inside a hot dog once. Or it may have been a kidney stone from a cow. Or a pig.
Mikee on March 31, 2009 at 07:44 AM
So the bacon wrap is "unable to eat," is it? Will it therefore starve? Perhaps you meant it was uneatable.
These being vintage photos, I suspect the bacon wrap was put around the whole shebang to make it more of an entree, which would be eaten with a knife and fork.
This is a sophisticated hot dog abomination, from a more genteel age.
confused on April 01, 2009 at 06:58 PM
im just a 5 grader but i think those "culinary excperts" are missing some spatulas
don on January 28, 2010 at 08:45 PM
Mikee,
Perhaps you should rub your eyes before you read something. It doesn't say "UNABLE to eat". It says "UNSTABLE to eat". You completely missed two whole letters.
duh
Glass Teapots on February 06, 2010 at 09:06 AM
Yum, that really made me hungry!
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dwellsincincy on July 01, 2010 at 02:01 PM
I love hotdogs, but just remember, even when it says "all meat" on the package, that just means lips, ears, snouts and esophagi.
dwellsincincy on July 01, 2010 at 02:08 PM
I should have said "may mean". Anyway, remember I said I love hotdogs. Preferred stuffing for the crown roast pictured above should be sauerkraut with fresh ground pepper.
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