Vote-Winning Biscuits from A Humorist
Sometimes all it takes to shift one's consciousness to a higher, happier place is to become one with a warm biscuit slathered in butter and grape jelly. I have proven this on several occasions. But how to get one of those when you're oh-so-very HOME and feel incapable of dressing and going anywhere to buy one? Pastry making can be a turnoff. They say baking is chemistry (science) and cooking is hand dancing (art). But I think when you want a biscuit, it shouldn't require rocket science or a muse. Is there a way through? Can you get something for almost nothing? Warm, home-made biscuits with a minimum of effort? Yes.
I'd love to say simply, "here's my Momma's recipe," but since she always boasts with a laugh, "I got this from a Dennis Rogers column in the newspaper," I feel I should give him the credit. Rogers is a Southern humorist who had a regular column in the Raleigh News and Observer for years and years. My mommy can't sleep at night without having read every single printed word of her newspaper, and it's recipes like this one that fuel her efforts. If she hadn't traded the sleep, she would have missed this recipe. She couldn't stand that. And from Dennis Rogers of all people. Not Betty Crocker. She loves that.
If you're the type who needs to read positive book reviews before laying out your money for a book, and you apply that same philosophy to recipes, then consider this: I brought these biscuits, along with some Christmas ham and Guiness Stout Stone-Ground Mustard, to a New Year's Chili Cook Off contest, just to provide folks with a little something else for the palette, and I overheard someone asking if they could vote for the biscuits instead of the chili! These weren't weirdos, either. This was an overly discerning crowd who spared no ill word about each other's chili. It was harsh. And yet I kept getting asked for the recipe.
World's Easiest Biscuits
1 stick of cold butter
2 cups self-rising flour
3/4 cup buttermilk
(Haven't got buttermilk on hand? Make your own: 3/4 cup milk plus1 tablespoon lemon juice OR vinegar)
Cut cold butter into tiny little pieces and blend, or "cut" as they say, into the flour. When the mixture has resulted in pea-sized particles (or thereabouts) then add the buttermilk. Mix just until the dough comes together. Do not overmix or overwork the dough. Roll the dough on a floured surface with a rolling pin (I used a tall drinking glass before I owned a rolling pin), and I say roll it kind of thick. Roll it to about an inch thick to make taller biscuits. Cut out as many biscuits as you can with whatever size cutter you are using. You can use the rim of a drinking glass, or a fancy-shaped cutter. Whatever you've got on hand. When you've cut your biscuits and placed them on a lightly buttered pan, put the remaining oddly shaped dough on the pan, too. Don't re-roll it and try to cut out more. Just make some strangely shaped ones and eat all those yourself and serve the pretty ones to everyone else. I brush the surface of each biscuit with melted butter just before putting them in the oven and also just after taking them out.
Bake at 375 degrees F for about 10-15 minutes. Check them after 8-10 minutes. Take them out when they are golden and remember they will continue to cook a little on the hot pan after you remove them. Let them set for a couple of minutes and then tear them open and put butter and jelly in them. They will keep in an airtight container and you can microwave them and enjoy them hot again and again with butter and jelly over the next day and even the next.
--Sweet B
AllAboutFood on February 15, 2009 at 11:46 AM
I just read about a restaurant that serves sweet potato rosemary biscuits. Maybe this recipe could be a base? I love easy!
Sweet B on February 15, 2009 at 02:02 PM
Great idea! I wish everyone would use any recipe I give as a base and then write in with upgrades and suggestions. I can always use more ideas in the kitchen...
Jim Foreman on February 16, 2009 at 11:18 AM
I did a YouTube on how to make cowboy biscuits which are very similar to these except easier to make because there is no rolling and fooling around cutting them out.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wqYzJLrECuU
Jim Foreman
Fred on February 16, 2009 at 04:03 PM
So how much butter is in "a stick"
Is that 1/4 pound ?
Techie on February 16, 2009 at 04:11 PM
A typical "Stick" of butter here in the USA is 1/2 cup melted or 1/4 pound by weight.
That's ~110 grams for our metric friends.
Spaz on February 16, 2009 at 04:26 PM
Just buy some of those frozen biscuits at the market. Your grandma can't make better.
charles on February 16, 2009 at 04:33 PM
Hmmm. No baking soda?
Megaera on February 16, 2009 at 04:48 PM
Charles -- that's the point of using the self-rising flour.
freddybear on February 16, 2009 at 04:52 PM
Nope, no baking soda. The steam from the butter and the buttermilk will make them raise.
comatus on February 16, 2009 at 04:52 PM
No need, charles. It's self-rising.
Welcome to the land of Martha White.
Goodness gracious.
Bobbi on February 16, 2009 at 04:54 PM
What's self rising flour - I've never seen it and I bake a lot (in Canada).
Jamie on February 16, 2009 at 05:22 PM
Madeleine Kamman's formulation for self-rising flour is 2 tablespoons baking powder and 2 teaspoons salt per pound of flour (white all-purpose or the blend of your choice), if you can't find ready-made self-rising flour in the store.
Here's another VERY easy recipe, and a good way to use up bad beer (not beer that's "gone bad" but beer that's not good enough quality to drink with pleasure): 3 cups self-rising flour, 3 tablespoons sugar, 1 (12-oz.) can or bottle of beer. Mix these as you would biscuits or muffins - that is, not too much - and pour into a greased loaf pan. Bake at 350 Fahrenheit for 50 minutes to an hour, brushing 3 tablespoons of melted butter over the loaf in the last ten minutes of baking if you like. Mmmm! That home-party company Tastefully Simple sells a beer-bread mix (for about five bucks a packet) that's essentially this.
Jamie on February 16, 2009 at 05:23 PM
P.S. A pound of flour is about 4 cups, give or take. Weighing, as with all baking, is most accurate, but my scale's out of batteries and I never remember what kind of little button batteries to buy, so I pretty much just measure by volume these days!
Lola LB on February 16, 2009 at 05:46 PM
Spaz . . . frozen biscuits? Frozen biscuits? Are you kidding? Please don't suggest that to those of us with Southern roots.
charles on February 16, 2009 at 05:46 PM
Thanks for the info. It's been, let's see, at least 40 years since my mom showed me how to make biscuits.
charles on February 16, 2009 at 05:55 PM
One of about half-a dozen "teach the boy a couple of recipes so he doesn't starve on his own" recipes. I don't remember what flour mamma used, probably plain.
John C. Randolph on February 16, 2009 at 07:14 PM
"What's self rising flour"
It's flour that includes a leavening agent like sodium bicarbonate, and usually some salt, too.
-jcr
Spaz on February 16, 2009 at 08:53 PM
@lola - I'm a Tennessean, so I know all about homemade biscuits. But I'll tell you, buy a bag of those Pillsbury frozen biscuits and try a couple. You'll never bother with making homemade biscuits again.
Karen on February 16, 2009 at 08:54 PM
I know, I know, biscuits are round..., but I cut mine into squares and have no odd leftover bits!
KarenT on February 16, 2009 at 09:24 PM
Those are some rich biscuits. For classic shortcake, whisk or sift a tablespoon of sugar and 1/2 tsp. baking soda into the flour and proceed as above. You may wish to use a larger biscuit cutter. I use the ring for a canning jar. Split warm biscuits, butter, fill and top with sweetened fruit and real cream you have whipped and sweetened yourself.
Self-rising flour is made specifically for quickbreads and is typically lower in protein than all-purpose flour. The most common type contains baking soda plus acid ingredients which approximate, together, baking powder. It also typically includes salt. You can substitute all-purpose flour in a pinch. For baking soda biscuits (tender, but not as light as the recipe above) whisk 1/2 teaspoon soda and 1/2 teaspoon to 1 teaspoon salt into the flour. For lighter biscuits similar to the recipe above, also add 2 teaspoons baking powder. To substitute regular milk for buttermilk, omit soda and use 3 teaspoons of baking powder.
EvelynD on February 17, 2009 at 02:16 PM
Is there self-rising whole wheat flour? Can you add the baking powder and salt to make w/wf self-rising?
jsallison on February 20, 2009 at 06:48 PM
grape? feh, orange marmalade round these parts
jsallison on February 20, 2009 at 06:48 PM
grape? feh, orange marmalade round these parts
tom | tall clover farm on June 22, 2009 at 11:23 AM
I like the simplicity of this recipe, but yet I still want to complicate things. Go figure.
1. for soft sides, allow the biscuits to touch while baking.
2. for crispy, keep well spaced while baking
3. for your sweet side, brush some of the buttermilk on top and sprinkle with sugar before baking (though purists will say I'm heading down a slippery slope to scone lane).
Thanks -- nothing better than freshly baked biscuits. Now we're waiting from your gravy recipe.
cheers, tc