Billy Mays Hates Vince Offer
Better get your ShamWow and SlapChop soon. Billy Mays is mad as hell and he's out to end Vince Offer's career.
A couple years ago, perpetual pitchman Billy Mays hawked infomercial classics like the Zorbeez and the QuickChop. He's since moved on to bigger and better products like Oxyclean and the Big City Slider Station, but technically still sells the older products. In 2007, upstart pitchman and gross-out comedian Vince "You'll love my nuts" Offer essentially ripped off Billy Mays' Zorbeez, using infomercials to sell what he called the ShamWow--peddling millions of the orange and purple towels. In late 2008, Vince moved on to a QuickChop knockoff called the SlapChop. That infomercial has become somewhat of a internet hit. Here it is.
How did Billy Mays take all this? Not very well. On February 10, 2009, Billy Mays went on the Adam Carolla show to air his grievances (listen here). In addition to calling the SlapChop a "crapchop", Billy warned Vince, "I'm coming after you".
The two had shared a suite at the 2009 Superbowl--hosted by the owners of a mutual call center. The meeting nearly came to fisticuffs. Vince later apologized, but Billy refused to accept. During the Carolla interview he challenged Vince to a "pitch off".
Here's how I imagine it would go...
Billy: Hi! Billy Mays here with an amazing deal for your face!
Vince: Yo, it's Vince. You'll love my fist.
Billy: Try it and I'll double the offer! That's two black eyes for the price of one!
Vince: I'll slap the beard off your face, old man.
Billy: If you act now, I'll throw in a free boot!
Vince:You'll be saying "ow" everytime you try to eat.
And it just goes on like that for a good twenty minutes.
--Spanno
Velociman on February 12, 2009 at 12:18 PM
I foresaw this bad ugliness back in November:
http://www.velociworld.com/Velociblog/Oldvelocity/003295.html
Sam on February 12, 2009 at 12:30 PM
Hilarious!
on February 12, 2009 at 12:32 PM
Vince is way cool.....
Mary Jo on February 12, 2009 at 12:48 PM
I saw ShamWow! in the store yesterday. I thought this stuff wasn't available in stores. Fond of Vince and find Mays too loud, but given what you report I now will not purchase any of the products they hawk.
Jeff the Baptist on February 12, 2009 at 01:02 PM
The hilarious thing is that they're both re-marketing Ron Popeil stuff. Both the QuickChop and the SlapChop are just the Popeil Chop-o-matic. The chop-o-matic was invented by Ron Popeil's father Samuel and has been around so long that the patents have all lapsed.
Ludlow on February 12, 2009 at 01:18 PM
I hate that damned Screamin' Billy Mays so badly that I hope the other guy stomps a mud hole in his ass and then stomps it dry. What a jerk!
DamnCat on February 12, 2009 at 01:19 PM
I'm with you, Mary Jo. Every time I see Mays on TV I think "Why are you yelling at me? You're on TV idiot. If I can't hear you I'll turn it up. If you're just going to yell at me I'll hit the mute button." And then I do.
The other guy is just as annoying - just not as loud.
Ludlow on February 12, 2009 at 01:20 PM
I hate that damned Screamin' Billy Mays so badly that I hope the other guy stomps a mud hole in his ass and then stomps it dry. What a jerk!
John Bono on February 12, 2009 at 01:26 PM
I just want to say that when I die, I want Billy Mays giving my eulogy.
Anthony Aardvark on February 12, 2009 at 01:42 PM
Yes, Mays must go. How best to do it? I suggest we fill that ugly space at the bottom of his face with aluminum shavings and dried dung, light it with an M-80. But the four tractors thing works too.
comatus on February 12, 2009 at 01:49 PM
There is no reason not to foresee Mr. Mays' stentorian tones on the floor of the Senate. His rhetorical style might even drag up the average level of discourse there.
As Crapgame said in Kelly's Heroes, "Maybe the guy's a Republican."
I buy stuff on TV all the time on February 12, 2009 at 01:49 PM
Billy Mays screams at you, and barely makes an argument for buying his product.
Vince Offer uses humor and vaguely clever double entendre. And he makes an argument for his product (in the case of the Slap Chop, he seems to have a much better product, also).
Not to mention, Billy Mays really hasn't done anything productive with his success. He just screams at me about additional products now. It's extremely annoying.
Vince, on the other hand, uses almost every penny he makes to fight the Church of Scientology in the court of law. They destroyed his life, and he put himself back together and is working hard to help not only himself, but other victims of that destructive cult that preys on the addicted, the mentally handicapped, and the elderly.
Only in America can a man like Vince, who is half crazy and all silly, work his way back up to the top after falling apart. I am proud to buy his products, and I think we'll be seeing more of Offer than Mays in the long run. Vince realizes we find commercials annoying, and plays into the part with style.
Ferd on February 12, 2009 at 02:26 PM
Any of you who buy products from either Vince or Billy are morons. There should be a law against using welfare money to buy this crap. None of you who purchase would be able to anymore, these guys would go out of business, and I wouldn't have to see them on TV.
BlogDog on February 12, 2009 at 03:49 PM
I'm going to have to bet against Popeye The Sale-orman on this one.
Josh - Master Cock Blocker on February 13, 2009 at 12:10 AM
I think they are both hilarious and take great pride in doing terrible impressions of both of them. I use their quotes on a daily basis, even if bed if applicable. However, Im now not allowed to use the "Youll love my nuts" line because girly began to think I have issues. Lately, I've been going with, "Act now, because we can't do this all day" Stupid bitch. Haha.
Josh
DeafListener on February 14, 2009 at 09:43 AM
John Bono on February 12, 2009 at 01:26 PM wrote:
I just want to say that when I die, I want Billy Mays giving my eulogy.
YEAH - THAT WAY YOU'LL BE ABLE TO HEAR IT!
CrazedFan on February 28, 2009 at 10:43 PM
Mays was been beatin' people out of money when Vince was in diapers. Mays all the way!
An Onimus on March 29, 2009 at 01:58 PM
Vince got himself into a little trouble down in Florida:
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2009/0327092sham1.html
Maybe Billy set him up.
Wendi Cooper on May 02, 2009 at 09:41 PM
I know both of them. Vince a bit longer than Billy. Vince is funny, quirky and just a great guy. Billy is a very very nice guy when not on camera - his persona on camera is a bit over board - but to think that he had something on the Chopper before Vince - well I would argue that one as Vince has been pitching and chopping for many years...just not on national TV.
At the end of the day - they are both just trying to make a living - just like me and you.
Arnold Johnson on May 17, 2009 at 11:34 AM
BIlly Mays is way better and much more experienced
plus vince has a crooked face
billy goat on May 28, 2009 at 01:35 PM
Vince isn't the only Billy basher.
I'm a KillBilly www.removebillymays.com
Charles on June 28, 2009 at 05:11 PM
Wow this is too sad. I love watching Billy work his magic on the screen. Guess Pitchmen is canceled now? :(
Ray Self on July 01, 2009 at 07:17 PM
Billy Mays rules
Ray Self on July 01, 2009 at 07:19 PM
Billy Mays Ruled the info market goona miss him
juan on October 17, 2009 at 08:45 AM
HAHAHA funny thing is, Billy Mays is now dead. That Shamwow guy might just be pretty damn crazy.