Al Dente

I'm Breaking Up With You, Arby's

Look, Arby's, it's not me, it's you. I know you've heard it the other way many times, but I'm not the kind of guy who cares about fat and calories. I care more about food quality and proper service. Yes, I realize that you're "fast" food but you've always held a special place in my heart. Especially since you charge twice as much as other fast food joints. Sometimes I get the feeling that you'd rather have my money than my happiness.

In the past I've overlooked your inconsistent "beef" slicing. When you're thin, our relationship is great, but when you're thick, well, it's just chewy and gross. Look at it this way, if I want a roast beef sandwich, I go to Subway (yes, I've been seeing other restaurants)--if I want beef that's sliced paper thin, I go to you (but not anymore).

Remember when we went on that break a couple years ago? After our big blowup over you dropping the homestyle fries, I eventually got over it and came back. I was even more into you when you introduced the loaded potato bites. After that I didn't even miss the fries.

Despite our good times, I'm breaking up with you because you never give me your sauce anymore. You used to care. You used to either ask how many packets I wanted or you'd just surprise me. Now, you merely hand me the bag and send me on my way. You don't even ask me if I want it anymore. I look into that bag of deliciousness hoping for at least two packets, but now it's packetless. I never think to ask for ARBY'S sauce because your frickin' name is on the packets. Do you just assume that a magical Arby's fairy will put it in my refrigerator when I get home? Because that doesn't happen. I've checked.

I'm sure you'll do fine without me, Arby's. After all, there's always a new generation of people like me for you to constantly disappoint.

--Spanno

Shrimp and Bacon, Not Strange! Plus, Local Sandwich Made Good…

Remember when Oprah dedicated part of a show to Favorite Sandwiches in America way back in 2004? People are still talking about Chris Rock’s choice, the Shrimp and Bacon Club from The Cheesecake Factory. Chris said, “"I know it sounds crazy. Shrimp and bacon. Incredible. Whoa."

Apparently, people still feel this way. Just a couple weeks ago, some dude posted an almost-edible photo of this very sandwich on a site dedicated to “strange” things, with the following site description, “Catch up on the world of the weird, random and hard to imagine, by sharing stories that defy convention and categorization. This is the place for news of the most eclectic and unusual kind. Tag your stories, photos and videos with "strange" for them to appear here.”

Does this sandwich really fall into that category? What is so doggone strange about it? Fancy eateries have been serving bacon-wrapped scallops and bacon-wrapped prawns for years. Joanna Pruess's cookbook, Seduced by Bacon, includes bacon-wrapped salmon right on its cover. So what about the addition of condiments, lettuce, and tomatoes makes that sandwich strange?

What about that feller called Mo who put chocolate and bacon together in a candy bar? That  sounds far stranger than CF’s sandwich. Still, I ate a bacon bar and it was good. Perhaps it would be stranger of people could find something not made better with bacon. (If you find it, let Mr. Baconpants know. He thinks everything is better with bacon, and includes links to strange bacon products like Krispy Kreme Bacon Cheddar Cheese burgers.)

Anyway. Since I’m onto sandwiches, here’s the real MEAT of this post: For Seattleites and anybody preparing to visit anytime soon, there is a sandwich for meat-eaters that has to be tried. Don’t waste a minute—go down to De Laurentis at Pike Place Market and get the Italian Grinder. Listen: This ain’t about fancy. There’s no strange or unheard of ingredient here. It’s what Mario Batali talks about when he urges us to use nothing but simple, fresh ingredients. De Laurentis has achieved perfection. Crusty bread, great-tasting oil, unbelievably good cured meats, cheese…just, yum. I can’t say anything except it will all be just as you hope for when you bite in. I have thought about this sandwich no less than once a day every single day for the past three weeks. That’s how perfect it tastes. And it was all just an accident.

I had to pop in, look at the offerings in the case, and decide  on something pronto while my sister waited out by the stroller containing my sleeping baby. Then she went in, perused, and placed all our orders. I kept thrusting this sandwich at her even though she’s a vegetarian. Taste fully took over my brain’s command center and prevented all thinking. She kept scowling at me and saying “No! I won’t!”

Oh, but you should.

Weekend Recipe: Zucchini Bread

Turns out that while my 15-month-old son won't touch cooked zucchini, he will gobble down zucchini bread with wild abandon. Even the fact that it's green doesn't appear to deter him. I also find it quite tasty, so I've been whipping up a batch of this every other week or so these days. The recipe makes two loaves, and just for variety (and another excuse to use the presliced brownie pan), I like to bake half the batter in the Slice Solutions brownie pan, so I've got some snack cake, and the other half in the Slice Solutions loaf pan.

Zucchini Bread

Ingredients:
3 cups flour (I like a mixture of white flour and oat flour, but whole wheat is also good)
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
3 teaspoons cinnamon
3 eggs
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1/2 cup applesauce
2 cups sugar
3 teaspoons vanilla extract
2 cups grated zucchini (approximately 2-3 medium zucchini)

Directions:
1. Spray two loaf pans (or other preferred pans) with nonstick cooking spray. Preheat oven to 325 degrees F.
2. In a medium bowl, stir together flour, salt, baking soda, baking powder, and cinnamon.
3. Beat eggs, oil, applesauce, vanilla, and sugar together in a large bowl until well combined. Stir in dry ingredients and beat well. Stir in zucchini and mix well. Pour batter into prepared pans.
4. Bake for 40 to 60 minutes, or until toothpick inserted into the center of the loaves comes out clean. Cool in pans on rack for 20-30 minutes. Remove bread from pans and cool completely.

Makes two loaves.

--KitchenMaus

Partying is a Battle: The Beerdolier Makes Sure You’re Prepared

Following up on the alcohol-fueled stylistic-ness of Spanno’s Miller High Life beer pouch hoodie (which, sadly, as Jeremy C pointed out, does lose a lot in the photo due to the fact that there’s a smarmy Miller Lite bottle in the pouch--I don’t even know that people who drink Miller Lite would show up a party where High Life was served, much less wear that rockin’ sweatshirt) is the Beerdolier, which I was lucky enough to find on Gizmodo. I think this innovative accessory is a bubbly step above the beer hat (a classic, but one that can cause brain issues via the condensation and the chilling) and the beer belt, which makes you look a little loggy and walk a little waddle-y. The Beerdolier, though, gets you primed for the party in guerrilla fashion, and ensures that your drink of choice is always close at hand. And close to your heart.

--A.J. Rathbun

The Wednesday Wrap: Food News to Go

The Vintner Has Awakened!: Actor Kyle MacLachlan returns to his Twin Peaks roots to produce his own Washington wine, Pursued by Bear. [Wine Spectator via Grub Street]

Books for the Home Cook: Amy Scattergood offers a fall cookbook preview, noting that home cooks will likely be leaving new books from Thomas Keller, Feran Adria, Grant Achatz, and Heston Blumenthal to the pros. [LA Times]

Go-To Ingredients: A survey of Boston chefs reveals some of their secret ingredients. [Boston Globe]

Tastes Like Chicken?: Sarah Palin has brought moose meat back into the spotlight. [NY Times]

"Thali"-a Lounge: Northwest meets India with Poppy, the much anticipated new restaurant from Herbfarm legend Jerry Traunfeld, which just opened on Seattle's Capitol Hill. [Voracious]

Sweet Teeth: Sundaes, floats, and milkshakes get sophisticated makeovers in the hands of LA pastry chefs. [LA Times]

TiVo Alert: Spain... On the Road Again, the culinary PBS series featuring Mario Batali, Mark Bittman, and Gwenyth Paltrow eating their way across Spain, kicks off this weekend. [Spain... On the Road Again]

TiVo Alert: Take II: Paula's Party goes political as Michelle Obama stops by to help Paula Deen in the kitchen. Barack's favorite food: a "steaming bowl of chili." [AP]

Bruni Beat: It's one star ("good") for Brooklyn restaurant James. "James, tucked among residential buildings in Prospect Heights, Brooklyn, is the kind of modest, warm refuge produced by a chef who wants to simplify things, to personalize things, to work on a scale that doesn't require or invite the meddling of too many outsiders." [NY Times]

Are Vegetarians Losing Their Minds?

According to a recent study at Oxford University where memory tests, physical checks, and brain scans were performed on a variety of people over a five year period, vegetarians and vegans were found to be six times more likely to suffer from brain shrinkage than meat eaters. Scientists think it might be related to a deficiency of vitamin B12 which is found in meat, fish, and eggs. Read more about it at couriermail.au.

--AndreaLeigh

I See My Future...and It Holds a Lego-Shaped Cake

I may not be able to tell you who will win the presidential election, but I know with 100-percent certainty that my future holds a homemade Lego cake. Someday down the road, my now-one-year-old will demand that I create a Lego brick of cakey goodness. Lucky for me, Betty Crocker has already published instructions. How to get those trademark Lego studs? Marshmallows, of course!

Thanks, Betty!

Now, if it turns out I have a cupcake fanatic on my hands, our favorite Flickr cupcakestress, Hello Naomi, has me covered with her too-cute-to-eat Lego cupcakes!

--KitchenMaus

p.s. For more Lego fun in the kitchen, check out the Lego egg timer and salt-and-pepper set!

Taste Test

We called our first son “Two-Jar” since he would from the beginning gobble two whole jars of whatever baby food we put in front of him. I bought every kind of organic pureed vegetable I could get my hands on—peas, spinach, carrots, butternut and other squashes, green beans, brown rice with lentils, etc.—and to my wild, ecstatic delight, he ate it all up with no protest. (But also without a lot of apparent vigor.) He was more of the I-eat-to-fuel-my-body kind of person. “Let’s finish eating and GO GO GO.”

Second son has his own agenda. Born 2 weeks late, at over 11 lbs, he remains a large presence at the table. He refused anything pureed. And I don’t mean he just ate a little bit of it. I mean he never would eat it, period. I mashed up the sweetest pears ever grown on Earth for him and he gagged and spit the way you would if you had sand in your mouth. (Coincidentally, he would happily chew and swallow sand.) Finally one night at dinner when he was 8 months old, and I was deep into both panic and a high-calorie diet to support an extra-large, breast-milk-only baby, he took some lasagna from my plate and ate it. That set him off. He wanted solids--and solids that required work to eat--from the very beginning. Someone mentioned to me a book she had read with the point that there really is no pureed food in nature, so some babies simply wait for teeth, then start using them as our ancestors would have done. Hmmm. He did grow a full set of teeth early…

Now Mr. 2 Jar is approaching 5 and sometime back, he began to notice every slight striation of color and every 1-by-1 micron grain and fiber in his food. And the peer comments he heard at preschool snack time didn’t help his narrowing view. Time was, he’d happily peel and eat a boiled shrimp. And then he became someone who, when offered such, would likely imitate a “yucky!” response from dirty, rotten, other people’s children.

Then, at preschool, they did something brilliant. A taste test. They arranged a large variety of items for tasting and let the kids check one of three boxes: Liked it, Didn’t like it, Didn’t try it. Out of 15 items, the only three he didn’t like were raw garlic, chili powder, and lime (underscoring the pesky recurring idea that he can’t really be my child.) The only one he didn’t try was Red Hots candy (again, not mine). When I picked him up that day, Teacher told me that he was the only one who tried kumquats and he even stuck up for them when kid after kid claimed not to like them. I actually couldn’t have picked kumquats out of a food lineup, but I pay more attention to them now. So does Susan Russo, of Food Blogga fame, who wrote about her first kumquat experience for NPR. Her article includes great looking kumquat recipes. The Watercress and Endive Salad with Kumquats sounds amazing.

Anyway, the point is, A Taste Test. Try it at home. Include fun things the preschool did, like 72% cacao dark chocolate, raw sugar, rock salt, and pickles. You don’t have to bombard them with 15 of the most healthy veggies. The point is to get them interested in trying something that first time. That may just do the trick for a lifetime. At the very least, they could become people who don’t reach 40-odd years without knowing what a kumquat is.

--Sweet B

Tunnel of Twinkie Love

If you've been following my Twinkie escapades, you will know that besides eating them, I've also been grilling them and making Twinkie s'mores. When I recently cracked open the Twinkies Cookbook to plan my next Hostess adventure, it was clear which recipe had to come next. With my love of the Bundt, it could only be the Twinkie Tunnel Bundt Cake.

The basic idea with this cake is that you place Twinkies vertically in chocolate cake batter in a Bundt pan. As the cake cooks, the chocolate cake envelops the Twinkie, creating a "vanilla" tunnel within the chocolate. Genius, really!

While I did like the overall concept and novelty factor (imagine explanations of "How did you do that?!") of this cake, as a Twinkie lover, it was a bit of a disappointment. Everyone knows that the cream filling is the best part of the Twinkie, and that's mostly lost here since the cream bakes out. Though, the bottom of the cake does have an interesting brulée quality to it, where the cream filling escapes and crystallizes. But, if you want that yummy creaminess, you'll have to be satisfied with a dollop of Cool Whip or Reddi-wip (homemade whipped cream doesn't really pair with this cake) on the side.

Here's the recipe, if you want to try it at home:

Twinkie Tunnel Bundt Cake

Ingredients:
1 (18.25-ounce) box chocolate cake mix, batter prepared according to package instructions
6 Twinkies, halved lengthwise
Powdered sugar, for dusting

Directions:
1. Spray a Bundt pan with nonstick spray. Pour the cake batter into the pan.
2. Arrange Twinkies in a circle in the middle of the batter, cut sides out, standing them up vertically. If you do it just right, they'll support each other and stand up straight.
3. Bake according to package directions.
4. When done, remove and cool for 10-15 minutes in pan. Invert pan to remove cake. Cool completely on a wire rack.
5. Dust with powdered sugar before slicing.

Serves 8 to 12

See more photos after the jump!

--KitchenMaus

Weekend Recipe: Spicy Cheese Balls

Wait, hold up, don’t turn away just because you’ve had some scary cheese ball experiences in the past. Instead of being the monsterish, dull, and avoidable store-bought variety, these little bundles of cheesy joy are easy-to-make, delicious, and a stand out at parties year-round--so much so that it’s a good idea to make a double batch. The recipe (which is from, if you’ll allow me a second of self promotion, the Made In A Flash chapter in my new book, Party Snacks) does carry a bit of spicy-ness though, so be sure to warn guests if they have a spicy aversion. It’s not so spicy that they should be worried about scorch mouth or anything, but just enough that they should go in ready. You can see the finished product in the photo (utilizing the toothpick method from step 3 below) taken by my wife Natalie at a recent party; a photo that was obviously from early in the evening, because that platter was picked clean in no time.

Makes 35 to 40 bite-sized cheese balls

Ingredients:
One 8-ounce package cream cheese, at room temperature
1 cup grated sharp cheddar cheese
1 teaspoon minced garlic
1 tablespoon chopped fresh parsley
1 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup finely chopped walnuts

Directions:
1. Put the cream cheese, cheddar, garlic, parsley, cayenne and black peppers, and salt in a food processor. Process for 5 to 10 seconds, until well blended. Scrape the mixture into a bowl, cover, and refrigerate for 1 hour.

2. Spread the chopped walnuts on a plate. Shape the cheese mixture into 35 to 40 small cheese balls, each about the size of a large marble. Roll each cheese ball in the walnuts, coating the outside (you may have to press a little to ensure sticking).

3. Serve the cheese balls on a large platter. You can put a toothpick in each ball, but you could also surround them with crackers and let guests use their hands. It all depends on what kind of party you’re having.

--A.J. Rathbun