Five Hot Dogs That Will Kill You
Sure, most hot dogs will kill you slowly with their high levels of fat, salt, cholesterol, sodium, and cancer-inducing nitrites. But if you want to expedite the process, take a bite of these deadly dogs.
1. Crif Dog's Breakfast Hot Dog
Start the morning right with the Breakfast Hot Dog from Crif Dog's in New York. Wrapped in bacon and deep-fried, this dog is accompanied with a fried egg and American cheese. All it's missing is a layer of hash browns and sausage gravy. Hey, when you think about it that way, this breakfast dog is bush-league! Time to step it up, Crif's. Read more about this hot dog here.
2. South Korea's French Fry Hot Dog on a Stick
It may look modest compared to the rest of this list, but don't let the lack of preposterous toppings fool you. The French Fry Hot Dog on a Stick will stick your arteries like Velcro. This South Korean specialty dog is covered in thick-cut french fries and deep fried. Top it with some melted cheese and you're on your way to bypass boulevard. Read more about this hot dog here.
3. Jimmy Buff's Double Hot Dog
You could meet your demise in New Jersey a couple ways. Mess with the wrong guy and you might end up taking a one-way trip to a nondescript swamp with a guy named "Frankie Four Fingers". Or you could let another frank (furter) do the job. Meet your maker with Jimmy Buff's Double Hot Dog. Jimmy cooks two dogs in hot oil, puts them in a pizza roll, and tops them with oil-soaked sauteed onions, peppers, and potatoes. Then he sends you on a one-way trip to that big hot dog stand in the sky. Read more about this hot dog here, here, and here.
4. Paula Deen's Lard Dog
Serious Eats first uncovered Paula Deen's insidious plot to kill us all in 2007 with a deliciously deadly mix of butter, liquid cheese, deep-fried meat, and southern charm. However, they missed a 2005 meal that makes all the others look like health food. The Grim Reaper looms largely over Paula Deen's Lard Dog. Why bother with relish and mustard when you could top your hot dog with bacon, Velveeta, and lard? She may have mixed the lard with a few other ingredients in order to mask the flavor of death, but it really doesn't matter when you're six feet under. Read more about this hot dog here.
5. Mulligan's Hamdog
How can you improve on the chili dog? Humans had pondered that question for decades. One day, the Devil went down to Decatur, Georgia and inspired a mouth-watering, chest-clutching, smile-on-your-face-as-you-drop-dead chili burger/chili dog combo know as The Hamdog. Take one hot dog, roll it in flattened burger meat, fry it, top it with cheese, chili, and a fried egg and kiss your keester goodbye. Read more about this hot dog here, here, here, and here.
--Spanno
Rod Trent on July 28, 2008 at 11:17 AM
Here's one you might find interesting - the Microsoft Visual Hot Dog, courtesy of Kunming, China.
http://myitforum.com/cs2/blogs/rtrent/archive/2008/03/31/the-microsoft-visual-hot-dog.aspx
Smitch on July 28, 2008 at 01:41 PM
That posting came out sounding pretty morbid. Or should I say....
morbidly obese!
I should.
Boy, double whammy with the salt and sodium!
Born Free on July 29, 2008 at 12:37 PM
Are these delectables now outlawed in California?
Tinian on July 29, 2008 at 12:47 PM
Other than the lard dog they sound really yummy.
Moderation in all things.
Always remember: dosage makes the poison.
Robd on July 29, 2008 at 12:56 PM
Some may be surprised to learn that lard is over 50% monounsaturated fat. In other words the same fat that makes up olive oil. It is definitely better to use then trans fats and tastes great. Give it a try if you can find any that is not hydrogenated.
Cigar Jack on July 29, 2008 at 01:00 PM
The place that makes the Hamdog has something called the Luther Burger that I really want to try.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v207/TexasBurgerGuy/Hamdog/Luther_big.jpg
jaed on July 29, 2008 at 01:01 PM
The hot dogs are cute (and impressive, in a horrifying sort of way)... but the constant "ooh, ooh, it's gonna kill you, ooh, ooh, salt (AND sodium too!!!), ooh, ooh, cholesterol, ooh, ooh, death, heart attacks, ooh" is old. Very old. Laying it on with a trowel doesn't improve it.
Jonny WOnder on July 29, 2008 at 01:02 PM
Wow... heaven.
hoo boy on July 29, 2008 at 01:16 PM
Evidently, when it comes to lard, laying in on with a trowel DOES improve it.
PJ on July 29, 2008 at 01:52 PM
No mexi-dogs... hotdogs wrapped in bacon, grilled on the street and topped off with mayonnaise dressing? East coast hot dog bias.
El Cid on July 29, 2008 at 02:11 PM
I made the "Luther"... aka Krispy Kreme bacon cheesburger slipped between a Krispy Kreme glazed donut.
Damn good...Don't want to eat more than one though. Cardic Arrest Alert, should you give it a go.
jersey rob on July 29, 2008 at 02:23 PM
Jimmy Buff's is a New Jersey treasure! There's nothing like a double dog --except maybe a double sausage. They won't kill you though. One of the Buff's cooks in Irvington is 90 and still going strong and one in west orange is in his 80s!
Robert L. Mayo on July 29, 2008 at 02:24 PM
Mmmmmmm... Death!
Richard S. on July 29, 2008 at 02:55 PM
Wasn't there a bit on the old "Cosby Show" about a "Bacon-burger dog"?
Jacquie on July 29, 2008 at 03:03 PM
My sister-in-law is Korean, and when she makes my nephew a hot dog she wraps it in a sheet of seaweed (the type they use to make sushi) -- nothing else on it, just seaweed. I suppose that would fall under the 5 most healthy and least tasty hotdogs catagory.
Josh on July 29, 2008 at 03:27 PM
Uhm - Just a note, the title uses some junk science scares, old one. I don't no if you want to perpetuate them, if so, ignore this comment, but:
I am going to fill you in a bit about nitrites. Sodium Nitrite was approved by the USDA in the 1920, since it worked more effectivly then sodium nitrate. In the 1950's it was shown to prevent botulism. The problem is when it was found out that nitrites (and nitrates) combine to produce nitrosamines. A study from MIT in 1978 proposed that Nitrites (potassium and sodium) increased lymphatic cancer from an average of 8% to 13% in animals. Which helped lead to the rumors of a ban on nitrites. When the study was reveiwed by the FDA (and congress) they found serious problems with the study, and the 'tumors' in many cases turned out to be fatty tissue, non-cancerous, not even a tumor. That is where the problems with nitrites come into play. A bad study done in the late 70's.
But we were left with the scare of them.
After the regulation of nitrites in 1975 the amount of nitrosamines allowed in bacon and such was reduced to 9 ppb. But anything not natural is a problem, right? Wrong. The preservative that you are worried about is as close as the tip of your tounge. It accures naturally in your saliva. But you want to eat healthy, and think a chunk of Organic Spinach in your salad is better? Not so, since nitrate levels in spinach are 3,000,000 ppb. Or 3% of the spinach by weight. Also it is present in lettus, celery, radishes, beet, and others vegetables.
So, in review, nitrates/nitrites not cancer causing, nor innatural. And since they stop botulism, maybe it is something you would prefer in your food.
But if you don't believe me, look into the National Research Council report: Carcinogens and Anticarcinogens in the Human Diet. Or skip it, since nitrates and nitrites are not listed.
Have a good day and enjoy your hot dog! (I had 2 today!)
Josh
mateofiero on July 29, 2008 at 05:25 PM
Unfortunately Mulligan's, home of the Hamdog and the Luther Burger has closed, but rumor has it that the Luther Burger lives on as the "Vandross" just a few miles west at the Gravity Pub in the East Atlanta Village...so if you are in Atlanta look it up.
I am glad I got the Hamdog before Mulligan's closed, it was great but honestly could have used more chili.
Robbins Mitchell on July 29, 2008 at 05:38 PM
Best dog in Texas?..my own creation:...wrapped in bacon and oven broiled till the dog is puffed out to the point of splitting...then topped with chili and chopped onions on a bun slathered with Cheese Whiz...culinary ecstasy
Robbins Mitchell on July 29, 2008 at 05:39 PM
Best dog in Texas?..my own creation:...wrapped in bacon and oven broiled till the dog is puffed out to the point of splitting...then topped with chili and chopped onions on a bun slathered with Cheese Whiz...culinary ecstasy
Trixy on July 29, 2008 at 10:35 PM
Oh mercy me. A French Fry Hot Dog. Could life get any better?!
Spincast on July 31, 2008 at 11:15 AM
I have to throw some support behind Crif Dog, it's an East Village wonderland for fans of tube steak. However I must state my belief that their Chihuahua is a bigger killer. The dog is wrapped in bacon and covered with avocado, and sour cream *drool*.
Also have to love their giant hit dog sign that say, "eat me"
thekevinmonster on August 02, 2008 at 03:18 PM
I would eat every one of those except the lard dog. Good god, that's disgusting. Why isn't Paula Deen fatter than she is if she slathers butter on everything? (On the other hand, some of her recipes are killer, in the good way. Her shrimp toasts, if you make them the way they were on TV, are effing awesome party food.)
myrnie_twin on August 02, 2008 at 08:30 PM
Hmm...a friend who watched the episode said that was coleslaw, not lard. Which actually sounds kind of tasty.
Jim on August 03, 2008 at 01:26 AM
After seeing that pic of the Hamdog, I had to make my own. It was incredibly awesome. I've just lost five years of my lifespan.
naughtydogcafe on August 03, 2008 at 09:18 AM
It's not a lard dog, it's coleslaw, if you look at the picture closely you can even see that. Lard would taste terrible (it seems, haven't ever tried it myself) on top of a hot dog, and Paula Deen doesn't make much that doesn't taste good!! And the kevinmonster is right...why isn't Paula Deen fatter than she is?! All the whacky stuff she makes! Yum. I need to go get a hot dog. And, despite all the "This will kill you's", in a balanced diet, even hot dogs have a place!