A Decade of Subway's Jared
by Spanno on February 18, 2008
Subway's formerly endearing mascot has turned the big one-zero. Yes, it's been a decade since we first saw Jared waddling walking to Subway after losing 245 pounds.
Lately Jared has been extremely busy. He's on a "Tour de Pants"--a sort of going away party for his fat pants; he recently starred in a "Got Milk" ad; and is in the middle of an expensive divorce. She reportedly will also get 60% of the proceeds from his forthcoming life story. Incidentally, who doesn't know Jared's life story?
On the bright side, Jared now has a ridiculously hot girlfriend.
--Spanno
Terri on February 19, 2008 at 06:04 AM
I have a close friend who is from the same town as Jared and she told me that Jared didn't walk to Subway...., He lived upstairs from it in an apartment!
CG on February 19, 2008 at 08:13 AM
I have a close friend who lived upstairs from Subway, and she told me that Jared flew to Subway with a flying apparatus he invented himself, from old da Vinci sketches.
Doug Santo on February 19, 2008 at 08:21 AM
I have a close friend who worked at Jared's Subway, and she told me Jared had gastric bypass surgery.
Drew on February 19, 2008 at 08:29 AM
I have a close friend who worked for Santa Claus, and he told me that smartaleck blog comments make the baby Jesus cry. Just hold your misinforming tongue.
SilentStorm on February 19, 2008 at 09:29 AM
I had a close friend who lived in the same town as Jared, in a building above a Subway, and who in fact worked at said Subway, but also moonlighted as one of Santa's helpers during Christmas time.
She also liked to make smartaleck comments on blogsites.
Are all of you my close friend? :P
The Big Kev on February 19, 2008 at 10:32 AM
I have a close friend who drove a subway train and ran over Santa Close while he was eating a Subway sandwich and praying to Jesus about needing to lose 250 pounds.
Miles on February 19, 2008 at 11:02 AM
I have a close friend who used to go to those bath places with Jared - apparently Jared doesn't displace nearly as much water since he started eating Subway.
Breaking The Silence on February 19, 2008 at 11:36 AM
I have no close friends....OMG!